Roles and Expectations in Sports

How to Prevent Miscommunication Between Coaches, Parents, and Players

On nearly every sports field, the same thing happens.
Everyone is doing their best.Everyone means well.
Yet misunderstandings still arise.

Not from a lack of effort.
But from uncertainty about roles and expectations.

Who is the coach here?
When are you the parent?
What can you expect from each other?

If these questions aren't explicitly answered, static happens.
And static drains energy.

For coaches, parents, and players alike.

Role Confusion is the Biggest Silent Cause of Problems

In sports, people often juggle multiple roles at once:

• team coach

• parent of a player

• volunteer within the club

• individual with emotions, experiences, and beliefs

That's normal.
What isn’t so clear is when each role is active.

A comment might be factually correct, but still come across wrong.
Not because the message is wrong, but because the role is unclear.

What Do We Mean by ‘Roles’?

A role determines:

• from what perspective you are speaking

• what responsibilities you have

• what expectations are associated with it

Common Roles at the Field

• Coach
  Focuses on development, team agreements, and sports content.

• Parent
  Concentrates on the child's well-being, safety, and enjoyment.

• Volunteer
  Supports the club and its processes.

• Individual
  With personal values, emotions, and limits.

If these roles overlap, misunderstandings arise.
Especially in youth teams.

Expectations Always Exist – Even If Unspoken

Every role comes with its own set of expectations.

• A coach expects trust and space

• A parent expects clarity and involvement

• A player expects transparency and fairness

If these expectations aren’t voiced:

• everyone fills them in themselves

• assumptions are made

• frustration builds

Often slowly.
Until suddenly it escalates.

Clarity Might Seem Strict, but It Actually Relaxes

Boundaries are often seen as distant.
In practice, they bring peace.

Example:

• during training: focus on the team

• after training: no in-depth discussions

• set time later: room for questions

This isn't rejection.
This is structure.

And structure leads to:

• less emotion at the wrong times

• better conversations

• more trust

The Hats Method: Simple and Effective

A practical way to make roles visible is the hats method.

How It Works

• Coach Hat On
  You are approachable as a coach.Content, team, development.

• Take off your coach hat
  You're a parent or just human.Space for other conversations.

This can be done literally with a cap.
Or figuratively by naming it.

The effect is significant:

• parents know what to expect

• players feel at ease

• coaches conserve their energy

Kids understand roles better than you think

Kids can keenly sense:

• when someone is a coach

• when someone is a parent

Uncertainty causes tension.
Clarity provides safety.

Especially for youth, predictability is more important than perfection.

Common pitfalls for coaches

Always being available

Seems engaging but leads to burnout.

Leaving expectations implicit

“Everyone gets that, right?”
No.Everyone reads it differently.

Postponing or Avoiding Conversations

Problems don't just disappear.They keep piling up.

How Parents Can Improve the Sports Environment

Parents play a crucial role.

Helpful behavior:

• asking questions at agreed-upon times

• stating from which role you are speaking

• distinguishing between performance and enjoyment

• trusting the process

This doesn't just help the coach.
It especially helps your child.

The Club's Role: Setting the Framework

Strong clubs don't leave this to chance.

They:

• express expectations annually

• support coaches in communication

• make roles explicit

• create regular consultation moments

This way, you prevent problems from becoming visible only when it's too late.

Roles and Expectations Change Throughout the Season

At the start of the season, everything is new.
Mid-season, emotions and performance pressure come into play.
At the end, reflection and handover follow.

That's why it's important to:

• check in regularly

• adjust expectations

• keep the conversation open

Good Coaching Doesn't Start with Technique

Good coaching starts with:

• clarity

• trust

• structure

When roles are clear:

• there is less noise

• collaboration grows

• enjoyment increases

For players.
For parents.
For coaches.

Summary

• Role confusion is one of the biggest causes of conflicts in sports

• Expectations always exist, even if unspoken

• Clarity brings peace

• Structure enhances enjoyment

• Good coaching begins before the first training session